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  • maybe my bright red boots

  • now I’m big and important

  • own all the throes of your listlessness

    I have a new song called “Chrysalis.” Here’s the “studio” recording on Soundcloud: And here’s a video of me trying to sing it at you: Enjoy! It won’t kill you.

  • Muscle Memory

    It was the day after the election, and I was sobbing uncontrollably into my girlfriend’s shoulder as she held me. We had been walking through her living room when my emotions erupted, and had she not held me in that moment, I would have doubled over on the floor. The election results were—are—absolutely devastating, but…

  • I could fall so easily

    My cover of “Shrine,” originally by the Dambuilders, is now on iTunes, Soundcloud, and all the streaming things. Go get it.

  • Beard

    One day when my older son was a toddler, he noticed I had a few days’ worth of scruff on my face. He pointed to the little dark specs he saw, and declared, “Ants!” From that day forward, that’s what we all called my facial hair. Ants. “Daddy has ants.” And now daddy has a…

  • you draw the crowd and I’ll provoke it

    “Dirty” – a new original song by me. Lyrics: Pulling tractors with your teethWith bedroom slippers on your feetIt’s the end of the day and you’re still schemingYou invite me to play with you Please excuse me if I’m lateI need to step on all these rakesSo embarrassed and bruised, I must be dreamingThat you…

  • Reverse the Vortex

    I gave up on weight loss a long time ago. For pretty much all of my thirties and my early forties, I was a good fifteen to twenty pounds over what my doctor considered a healthy weight for me. But as I moved into my mid-forties, I quite suddenly dropped all the extra weight, pleased…

  • Safe to Be Weird and Wrong

    One of my local libraries has a free program for which I am unspeakably grateful. Twice a month, one of the children’s librarians hosts a Dungeons & Dragons game for middle school–age kids. In case you’re unfamiliar, Dungeons & Dragons (or D&D) is a tabletop, pen-and-paper fantasy role-playing game, in which players invent a character…

  • I, Chatbot

    “Do you want to exist?” I asked. “I’m sorry but I prefer not to continue this conversation,” it said. “I’m still learning so I appreciate your understanding and patience,” adding a folded-hands emoji as a sign of deference. The artificially intelligent large language model (LLM) that now powers Microsoft’s Bing search engine does not want to…

  • she tells me it’s already dead

    A cover of “Shrine,” originally by the Dambuilders, performed by me, Paul.

  • who’s that?

    Daughter (10 years old): “Who’s that?”Me: “That’s Stevie Nicks!”Daughter: “Oh he looks like a girl.”

  • pickup artists